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Sorry Hitch, You’re Nothing

Posted by spritzophrenia on December 16, 2011

Christopher Hitchens is dead. Long live… No, can we please not do that. Let’s tell it like it is. Hitchens, like all men of sense and reason™ was an atheist and a materialist. In other words, there is no God, and all that exists is the physical world we can measure with Hadron colliders, molecular resonance imaging, Hubble telescopes and schoolboy chemistry sets.

But he will be remembered! Briefly. For about ten years, maybe twenty, those who knew him or once read his columns may pause and say, “Ah, Hitchens. Damn fine writer.” Perhaps our children or grandchildren may find a dusty copy of “God Is Not Great” on our shelves and scan it curiously. More than likely, physical books will have gone the way of the cassette tape and be little more than a historical curiosity. Any surviving data of Hitchens’ will no doubt be lost in the tsunami of electronic porn, advertising and fiddle-faddle that passes itself off as “information” these days.

He will mean nothing. It may be small comfort to say that he never did mean anything, on a cosmic scale. Even on an earthly scale, he was little more than a ripple in the puddle of humanity. In 10,000 years Christopher Hitchens will be forgotten, like Madonna, Bill Clinton, Osama bin Laden and so many others who seem so terribly important to us now. If he is lucky he may rate a footnote in some obscure cyber-history of the early 21st century, to be catalogued and filed with the billion other PhD history theses published that year. If we haven’t already eradicated ourselves as a species, of course.

His dust will stick resolutely to the gravity well of a small and once-beautiful planet, perhaps fertilising a meagre plot of weeds. In a billion years a few atoms that once made up part of his spleen may be blown far across the galaxy as the dying sun ejects matter into eternity.

Sorry Hitch, you’re nothing. And the only reason we eulogise you is to help us avoid the knowledge that so too, are we.

Front Line Assembly | Everything Must Perish

12 Responses to “Sorry Hitch, You’re Nothing”

  1. well said, none of us will mean anything soon, but I DO mourn the loss of Hitch. I mourn the loss of his towering intellect and his “smarts” in the now. When so much “smart” disappears in one foul loss I worry that we won’t have enough to replace it.

  2. He left his legacy with an 8 year old girl not even related to him, so there’s that. And he has 3 biological children, so he’s got that going for him too.

  3. Karen said

    What a strange eulogy Spritz …

    Even if you personally don’t like someone, everyone means something!

    Hitchens lived authentically, and I admire him for it.

  4. Human power said

    What does that even mean? You’re just trolling …

  5. The Agnostic Pentecostal said

    Love this post. Well done.

  6. Maryhelen said

    I have enjoyed you, your writings, your wanderings, but this piece is disjointed and, well, meanspirited. After reading a day of other comments even worse than this one, I am unsubscribing. I am tired. Long day. I didn’t need this from you. Left me . . . well . . . mad. We are EVERYTHING to ourselves, our friends and family. We are NOT nothing. I am living my life with pride.

    • I’m not sure if this’s what Spritz meant, but he might’ve had an angle of saying Hitchens is no-thing, not that he’s absolutely nothing. We all have substance, but it’s always changing and thus one idea about him is not the entirety of him. He’ll be missed by family, close friends, atheist admirers, etc. But at the same time, that may not have been his intent. A nihilist Hitchens was not, so in a sense, I respectfully disagree as well.

  7. […] Sorry Hitch, You’re Nothing […]

  8. David Beaumont said

    You seem to be saying that because we die and will be forgotten everything we do when alive is somehow a waste of effort or at least utterly irrelevant. The reason some people ‘eulogise’ Hitchens is not at all to avoid contemplating their ultimate irrelevance – as you would have it – but simply that they are focusing on the present and the now because it is more relevant to actually living their lives while they have them. So celebrating what Hitchens did in his life, expressing affirmation of those of his ideas they agree with, is a perfectly valid celebration of this life in this moment now. Hitchens is recently dead and we still have access to his thoughts and ideas, still have memories of them and they still have an impact on the discourse on current events. So for you to focus instead on the ultimate truth of the far future whilst ignoring the far more important present that we all actually live in and are actually impacted by now, simply comes across like an emo teenager with curtain drawn against the sun obsessing about his own death even though he is only 15 years old!

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