Heartbreak Essential to Find “The One”
Posted by spritzophrenia on January 28, 2011
Continuing our lively discussion on divorce and marriage, maybe having a “failed” marriage or relationship can actually help us in our romantic life?
Previous heartbreak is an essential factor in finding “the one”, a US psychologist says.
People should think about what factors contributed to the earlier relationship, both positive and negative, and what they should change for next time.
“Also take a look at your former partner and think about what was it that they were missing, or you needed to have in a partner that you didn’t know.”
Dr Gonzaga also advised looking at the relationship in context and considering all the external factors that contributed to the breakdown.
It really is about using the knowledge that you have be better, smarter at picking out the right partner and doing the right things in relationships,” he said.
“It’s not that people don’t realise this – a lot of people take a lot of individual lessons, but very few people put all of them together.”
He said while many people find looking for new love a daunting task, they shouldn’t lose heart.
~ from here. His book is, Dating the Second Time Around: Finding Love That Lasts.
I certainly feel I’ve become a better person, and a better love-mate after many years of “failure”. Then again, as we were saying in my last post, is the whole concept of “the one” flawed?
Note: I believe everyone should be able to love and marry who they wish, so contributions from my queer friends are welcome. Also, feel free to substitute “long term relationship”, or something else if the marriage concept bugs you.
? What do you think?
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